How to Talk About Salary With Anyone

Why is it so difficult to talk about salary with anyone?

Back in 2014, President Barack Obama declared, “Pay secrecy fosters discrimination, and we should not tolerate it.” 

Discussing money, whether salary, spending habits, or money in any other capacity, has historically been taboo.

Unfortunately, this has led to inequity in salary and has made us all uncomfortable with the key to eliminating the gender pay gap.

By discussing salary with those around us, we can hold companies accountable for their inequitable practices and create a more even playing field. 

This might initially feel uncomfortable, but remember that it is your legal right to discuss your compensation with your colleagues. Under the National Labor Relations Act (NLRA), employees have the right to communicate with other employees at their workplace about their wages. This protects employees who wish to discuss wages in face-to-face conversations and written messages.

Why It’s Important to Normalize Talking About Salary

Talking About Salary Increases Awareness 

Depending on what level you are in your career, it’s important to know the market value for your role.

Whether you’re just starting in an entry-level position, or have been in the workforce for a while, discussing salary and compensation structures is important. If you neglect to discuss compensation with those around you, you’ll miss out on important information about current rates, salary compensation, and the benefits available.

For those who have been in the same role or same company for a while, it can become second nature to just accept a minimal annual pay increase. After years and years of not negotiating fair pay, an employee will earn far below the market rate.

Talking About Salary Increases Equity

As noted above, salary discussions are extremely important regarding equity.

According to a Pew Research Center analysis, the gender pay gap has remained relatively stable in the United States over the past 15 years. In 2020, women earned 84% of what men earned. Salary transparency is increased when employees discuss their compensation, which helps to hold companies accountable for their actions.

Confidence:

While your self-worth should not be tied to your salary, research has found that poor self-esteem during adolescence can lead to low future earnings as an adult. By discussing salary with your peers and learning what they earn, you can go into a salary negotiation with more confidence in the validity of what you’re asking for.

How to Talk About Salary as a Job Seeker

How to Discuss Salary with a Recruiter

Recruiter Tony Riggins, advises those curious to talk about salary, “ask three important clarifying questions when discussing salary with any company. Always ask and understand as much as possible upfront, so there are no surprises. This is really about trust and transparency. Don’t forget that you can always ask about compensation upfront—even if your recruiter doesn’t offer to show their cards.”

He continued by describing the questions that he encourages all candidates to ask when speaking with their recruiter.

1. Find out the salary structure. Ask if the base salary is tied to a specific region and what the base pay band is. (i.e. west coast, east coast, the south, etc. or a specific country, state, or city.)
2. Determine the real value of the benefits packages. How much, if any, does the employer provide for current or upcoming dependents, 401(k), paid parental leave (birthing and non-birthing), adoption and fertility coverage, surrogacy assistance, mental health support, sick days, vacation, financial and legal advice, etc.
3. Lastly, think about your end goal. What is the “Total Compensation” in any potential offer? This includes your salary, benefits, any equity, benefits, time off, etc. Ask your recruiter if they can help you calculate the moving pieces and potentials involved.

How to Discuss Salary with a Potential Employer

Career Coach Alyson Garrido exclaimed, “I’m a big fan of sharing salary. It helps everyone when we are transparent.”

She explains that “If job postings aren’t sharing salaries, it’s essential to do your research about norms for your role and industry to ensure your salary is aligned with the market. “

When discussing salary with a potential employer, Garrido recommends coming to the table “either with a well-researched estimate of a salary range that they can confirm or deny or you can ask what they believe to be the typical range for someone with your experience level in the role.”

How to Discuss Salary in an Interview

Most interviewers will ask a candidate about salary, at least in some capacity. This can be stressful, but researching can help mitigate some stress. As Riggins noted above, asking about salary upfront can indicate whether or not the company will be able to meet your needs. This can save the time-consuming task of interviewing when salary expectations are below your requirements. If the company cannot afford you, it’s probably not worth your time.

In addition to your cost of living, you’ll want to consider both your base pay (salary) and your total compensation (salary, bonus, PTO, medical benefits, etc.) so you can confidently express your needs. It’s easy to get blindsided by seemingly big numbers.

However, prior calculations can put these numbers into perspective for you and your budget. It’s always a good idea to come up with a range you’re comfortable with. This way, you can look to this range when discussing salary during an interview and quickly determine what is feasible for your lifestyle.

How to Discuss Salary in an Informational Interview

When discussing salary in an informational interview, remember that money can be a sensitive subject for most people. It’s important to build rapport with the person you’re speaking with before jumping into such a polarizing subject. 

First, touch on your desire to increase salary transparency. Next, disclose that you’re trying to gather information to properly prepare for interviews and salary negotiations.

If someone isn’t interested in discussing this, don’t take it personally. However, do share why you’re interested in gathering information. If someone doesn’t want to discuss salary, you can say something like:

“I completely understand! Talking about money isn’t the easiest thing. I just want to make sure I’m being paid equitably.” [Then, change the subject.]

How to Talk About Salary With Others

How to Discuss Salary in a Relationship:

Communication is key in any relationship, but discussing salary in a relationship is extremely important. Discussing finances gives perspective into your partner’s spending habits, frustrations, or anxiety around money. Additionally, salary transparency in a relationship can help distribute costs proportionally and can help create more comfort and trust between you.

Without this transparency, resentment can build, and financial issues are a common strain on relationships.

According to a survey from the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, “money issues” is the third leading cause of divorce.

How to Discuss Salary with Your Peers

Talking about your current salary with your peers can feel taboo and uncomfortable, but as discussed earlier, pay transparency is what can help reduce and hopefully eliminate the gender pay gap.

Discussing salary in any relationship, whether romantic or platonic, can help foster trust and understanding about personal spending habits. 

By discussing with your peers, you can gain insight into everyone’s spending habits. This can explain why one friend might want to opt for nights in or dinner at home more often. It will also explain why other friends feel more comfortable spending on meals, activities, and social engagements.

It might feel foreign initially, but the more you discuss it, the more natural it will become. Consider starting with a question.

Try something like:

“Can I get your thoughts on this? I currently make [DOLLAR AMOUNT], but I think I should probably try to negotiate a higher salary or search for a role where I’m better compensated for my work. What do you think?”

Asking a question opens salary up for discussion, and can feel less disarming than simply asking, “how much do you make?”

How to Discuss Salary with Coworkers

As previously stated, under the National Labor Relations Act (NLRA), employees have the right to communicate with other employees at their workplace about their wages. Discussing salary with coworkers is an important tool to hold companies accountable for their actions. It can also provide you with insight and evidence to bring into your own salary negotiations. 

With insight into what others make at the company, you’ll be prepared to ask for what you deserve. If the company does deny your salary increase, you can respond with a question,

Try a question like this:

“I’m aware that others in my role make $x, and given my accomplishments of y and z, I think I’ve proved myself worthy of my requested pay increase. Can you please share why you feel otherwise?”

How to Discuss Salary with Other People in Your Industry

Discussing salary with others in your industry can highlight differences in pay based on region, experience level, and company. Riggins continues to note that “Some companies will provide base salaries that are the same across the US, but most companies tie the base salary to a specific state or region.”

By discussing salary with others in your industry, you can gain a better picture of the market as a whole. You’ll learn more about what you can ask for and how to better negotiate compensation based on your unique situation.

Discussing with others in your industry can also provide insight as to additional industry-specific benefits which you might not have previously considered.

This article was written by The Salary Project writer, Michele Lando.